Saturday, October 29, 2011

Early in the Morning

It's 6:30 and I've been awake for an hour now. Like everyday for the past 6 months, I check out whether I have learned the skills expected from me by any potential employer. The answer today is 'no', just like everyday. Whatever skill I have is self-taught, and I can't exhibit it for the sake of exhibition. I learnt programming for solving problems and unless I have a problem on my hands I can't write a program to solve it. Given the pressure at the time of the interview, I would not be surprised if I am not able to write a simple one.

Everyday, I think of learning something that might help me get a job and everyday that 'something' changes. Not because I didn't like the previous one but rather because it demands a certain amount of flair which I would be lacking. I wonder if I will find a skill and a job that would be the natural choice given my inherent abilities. But the problem is I am not sure what my abilities really are. No one bothered to tell me and I am strangely incapable of judging my abilities.

Like every day, I begin to think that maybe, I may not have any ability at all. Maybe I am just a dud, with no skills. Even if I did have one, it is probably not enough to stay on top in this fiercely competitive world. I wonder what the whole point of this competition is. What are all these people trying to prove? I am sure that it is in no way for their survival in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word.

I turn back to my online Artificial Intelligence class, hoping that might be the answer to my great and your little problem.

1 comment:

  1. Wow. You write very well man. That is indeed a skill. Don't let other people tell you what you are let yourself choose. Look inside you. What makes you so happy that you forget to check time? LOL that's what you are good at doing and you love.